2440 Louisiana Blvd. NE, Suite 530 | Albuquerque, NM 87110 | (505) 830-6563

How to Survive Divorce

Going through a divorce is tough. Whether your soon to be ex-spouse initiated the split or you did, you will experience profound pain. And while you may not believe it now, there is life after divorce. You will survive your divorce. That’s a promise. There are ways to help you begin your new life under the most favorable circumstances possible.
Acknowledge Your Loss

In many ways, divorce is like a death. You must acknowledge the loss of your marriage. This includes giving yourself the space to mourn. Well meaning friends may push you to “get back out there,” and begin socializing and even dating. However, it’s unlikely that you will truly be ready for an active social life, much less a new romance, right away.

If your ex-spouse left the marriage to be with another person, or begins dating soon after your split, you may feel personally rejected. You may even be tempted to start your own romance to try and get “even”. Try to resist this temptation. Failure to acknowledge the loss that you feel now will likely only prolong the pain. It’s also not fair to your new partner, who may genuinely be seeking a significant relationship, rather than playing a role in your revenge.

Don’t Go It Alone

Although jumping right into the dating and social scene isn’t necessarily advisable, it is also unwise to isolate yourself while you are going through your divorce. Join a support group of others going through divorces. Seek out professional therapy or counseling, especially if you feel overwhelmed by your grief. It’s also OK to reach out to your friends and loved ones for support. Check that, it’s essential to reach out to your friends and loved ones. Of course, you don’t want to be a burden, but asking for support is not too much to ask. Chances are, your loved ones will be eager to provide a sounding board or a shoulder to lean on.

Reassure the Children (If You Have Them)

Young children need not be told every hair-raising detail about your divorce. It is enough to explain that Mommy or Daddy won’t be living with them anymore, but that he or she will love them all the same. You should also make it clear that the divorce is in NO WAY their fault. Even if you despise your spouse, he or she is entitled to be in your children’s lives, barring extreme cases such as severe domestic or sexual abuse.

You can tell older children honestly that you and your soon to be ex-spouse are ending your marriage. They probably figured out the end was imminent long ago anyway. You don’t have to sugarcoat your feelings for your soon to be ex-spouse, but you should not attempt to alienate your children from the other parent or prevent him or her from spending time with them.

Leave the Legalities to Professionals

If you and your spouse are truly leaving the marriage on good terms, it may be possible to work out details such as dividing the marital property and child support through a mediator or arbitrator. If so, you and your soon to be ex-spouse can save significant time and emotional wear and tear, not to mention money.

However, if your spouse is playing hardball, if you have reason to suspect that he or she is hiding assets, or if the split is simply antagonistic, it’s best to conduct communications through disinterested parties. That’s legalese for someone who is not emotionally wrapped up in the hurt and misdeeds that may have precipitated your divorce, but who is invested in ensuring that you achieve the most favorable terms possible. In other words, a skilled, professional attorney who specializes in divorce law.




We practice in all areas of divorce and family law including:

  • Women’s Divorce
  • Men’s Divorce
  • Military Divorce
  • Legal Separation
  • Paternity
  • Child Custody
  • Timesharing
  • Child Relocation
  • Child Support
  • Alimony
  • High Asset Cases
  • Community Property Division
  • Division of Community Debt
  • Division of Retirement Assets
  • Protection of Separate Property
  • Enforcement of Orders
  • Modification of Orders
  • Mediation
  • Domestic Violence
  • Grandparents’ Rights
  • Guardianships
  • Guardian Ad Litem
  • Adoption
  • Prenuptial Agreements
  • Uncontested Divorces


See what our clients have to say:

From Joann:

"All members of this law practice were well informed and very kind and considerate to me during the very emotional and complex process of dissolving my 34 year marriage. They understood the intricacies of dealing with challenging manipulations by opposing counsel who was led by my spouse's lack of follow through regarding the home property. At all times, I was treated with the utmost respect whenever I contacted the office no matter my emotional condition. This law practice was warm and supportive during moments of tricky litigation regarding our pension equalization. They kept in contact with me even when I was out of town so that we could file motions in a timely manner. They advised me appropriately when I wanted to seek more, understanding from experience that certain offers were adequately appropriate. In follow up, they were family oriented and shared their family events when I shared mine. I have referred close family friends in need of family law services and have been thanked by these friends for the quick and knowledgeable resolution of their problems. I will gladly refer other friends and acquaintances to this law practice. They were able to attend to both the younger family with minor age children and the more mature couple with pensions resolving all conflicts in favor of their clients.
This law practice KNOWS family law!"
From Linda:

"Our daughter hired Bo Frazier as her attorney in a long drawn out 4 year divorce, and anytime I called or emailed them, their response was within a day. We live in Hobbs, and the firm is in Alb. but it didn’t matter, things were addressed quickly.

If you want an excellent firm to fight for you, choose Frazier Law Firm."





If it involves divorce or family law, we can help you!


1110 Pennsylvania Street NE Suite C | Albuquerque, NM 87110

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